Back with a "BANG"!!!

Sooooo I am back!!! After a 4 month long hiatus I have decided enough is enough. The blogging community needs me...they need my kids...they need my stories. Well people...I will not let you down. I will need to do ALOT of catch up...that's true...but I am going to start with the here and now. So...June 29th was Mallory's 5th birthday. She had a FABULOUS party...of course...and that will be documented at a later time. Now the reason for the background about the birthday is because Jason and I gave her a wiggle car for her birthday...that wiggle car (along with Tate) star in this post.... So...after her party Mallory was outside driving her wiggle car, when she so sweetly asked if she could take it over to the dog park. (the dog park is right by our house...and it has a hill with a cement walkway going down the hill.) Since I am an awesome mom...I allowed the wiggle car to go to the dog park and down the hill. Now Mallory had successfully maneuvered the hill a few times before Tate and I arrived. I watched her fly down the hill...laughing and enjoying herself completely. So...Tater toddles over to her...obviously expecting a ride. Mallory turns to me and asks if she can give him a ride down the hill. Now...all readers...please realize that I am prone to some STELLAR mom decisions...and this was one of my best!! I agree (stop gasping at me) to let my 5 year old take my 2 year old on a ride down a cement hill on a WIGGLE car. (please put the phones down...CPS does NOT need to be called...YET!!) So...I am on top of the hill...watching my lovelies have a fun ride down...when all the fun suddenly comes to a complete (well not complete) how about a SKIDDING stop!! It was truly slow motion...I watch the WIGGLE car do what it does best...WIGGLE out of control. Mallory flies forward...hits her shoulder then falls on top of Tate. The side of Tate's face hits the cement...and now he has Mallory and her full weight on top of him and his head. So they slide that way for a bit until the stop!! (now if you still feel the need...I would completely understand the call to CPS!!) So...I run down to them...send Jason a text (gotta love cell phones) that reads..."NEED HELP AT THE DOG PARK". So I watch as Jason comes out of the house...casually....until he hears 2 screaming kids...then he breaks into a sprint...reaches me at the park and RIPS Tate from my arms...doesn't even look at Mallory (or me for that matter) all he knows is that his little boy...his prince among men...his heir to the Vance throne is injured...and I let it happen. So I gather up Mallory and the wiggle car and head home. When we get inside...the evil eye is all I get from Jason. I explain AND apologize AND claim he would have done the same thing. It does not go over well...his son is still injured.

So...I accept full responsibility for this damaged little face...and I hope to be forgiven. But...lets be real...it is TOTALLY going to happen again!!! Like I said...I am a STELLAR mom!!!

Poor little bubba man on the day after his fall.

Here is the happy little man on the 2nd day after his fall...

And here he is on the 3rd day!!! Even all scratched up...he is the HANDSOMEST little sucker EVER!!!

"Purple Durple"

(my "sweet" little angels!!)

So...a few nights ago I put Tate to bed, then I came out to put my little sweeties to bed. I took them into their room, and got them all settled. They came out a few minutes later and asked if they could PLEASE sleep in my bed. I told them sure, and I tucked them. Another few minutes went by and I was sure they were asleep. THEY WERE NOT!!! Next thing I know they are at my side. Anna is in "tears"(you know...the faker kind). She has her arms crossed around her chest and she is sad. She tells me that Mallory hurt her. I turn to Mallory...who is feeling absolutely no remorse...and ask her what she did. She looks me straight in the eye and tells me that Anna kept putting her legs on her, she gave her a PURPLE DURPLE. I turned to Anna to try and figure out just what the heck that is and I notice that she is rubbing her...ummmmm...her nipple (can I say that freely here??) Anna then explains and demonstrates that Mallory pulled her nipple and then twisted it. I turned to Mallory...clearly hoping that this is wrong...and in true Mallory fashion, she looks at me, shrugs her shoulders and says..."I had to do it." At this point I am laughing so hard that I can not even begin to discipline her...or tell her how wrong this is. Anna is just staring at me through those hurt eyes, waiting for the punishment that never came. Once again...Mallory was able to get out of trouble...just by being Mallory. So, the moral of the story is...if you hear someone saying PURPLE DURPLE...grab your nipples and RUN!!!!

This could only happen to US!!!

Seriously people...I don't make any of this stuff up that I post. I know it is hard to believe, but this is my real life!! I don't even know how most of this happens...and I have quit trying to figure out!! So...I am driving home from a family night movie night...Anna says she dropped something on the floor, and can she unbuckle and get it. I agree and tell her as soon as she gets it she needs to buckle back up...you know...safety first!!! So anyway she does and I continue to drive. A few minutes later she tells me her seat belt is to tight. I told her to undo it, loosen it back up and re buckle. She tells me she can't unbuckle it. Well people...I am on the freeway and unable to help her so I told her to just sit tight...we would be home soon (remember...safety first!!) So...we get home, I get Mallory out of the car, unload all the bags and things and proceed to the house. I hear Anna asking me for help, I turn around and tell her to get out the car and she tells me she can't. I then remember her telling me how her seat belt was to tight in the car so I go to unbuckle her...only I CAN'T!!!! Seriously...I can't unbuckle her because she is not buckled but she is absolutely STUCK!!!!! Look below for proof...... So...I run in the house and grab Jason...he struts out confident the he can beat this seat belt issue...but he quickly finds out that the seat belt will not be beat!! So Anna is...at the time...fully clothed and I offer the suggestion of stripping her down and shimming the seat belt up over head. Unfortunately...the more we shimmied...the tighter the seat belt got. (please bare in mind that the seat belt is not actually even buckled...but is some how wrapped around my child.) So we try laying the seat back to see if she can then slide out of the loop...the seat belt gets tighter. We go back to shimming...only now the seat belt is so tight on Anna that her ribs are jutting out over the belt and it is digging into her skin. (F Y I...Anna was very brave through all this and only shed a tear or two.) So...the seat belt can't go up and over...so maybe it can go down. (Please see picture 2 below.......)

So...we are now trying to pull the seat belt down...only her hips won't allow this either. At this point in time...I am in the house on the phone and on the computer googling SEAT BELT ISSUES...seat belt safety releases...seat belt safety.....UNLOCKING @$#%$ SEAT BELTS TO SAVE MY CHILD!!!! (There is nothing online that walks you through a situation like this FYI.) So I come out...a total failure...and Jason says to me we are going to have to cut it. Now...had I been thinking clearly I would have seen the despair in my poor child's eyes and agreed...but I was not. All this mommy could see were the dollar signs of how much will it cost to replace a cut seat belt. So...to make a LONG story alittle longer...I gave it the ol' college try a few more times, but lets just say....my 8 seater van will currently only hold 7 buckled passengers.

Fabulous Phoenix Zoo Lights!!!

Ok...I know this happened awhile ago...but this is what you get when you have to play catch up. Believe me...I will catch up sometime( it won't take long...we don't do enough.) So anyway...my friend Jill and I took our little ones to the zoo lights in January (well...she took 1 little one...I took 3!!) It turned out to be so much fun though for ALL of us...and it is definitely something I would do again!!! My little playboy...I mean honey bunny...Mallory!!!

My girls are sooooo creative aren't they. They definitely get it from ME!!!

Me and My 3 at the lights. (by the way...I don't recommend taking a child out of the stroller just for a picture...BIG MISTAKE!!!)

Do it this way instead....just bring the stroller into the picture...maybe not as cute, but no fighting to get them strapped back in!!!

Me and my funny bunny girls!!!

Anna, Mallory and Sydney!!! These 3 girls are the BESTEST of friends!!!

My crazy crew!!!

I LOVE MY GIRLS!!!

Little bunny foo foos...hopping through the zoo zoo!!

We started the night with a yummy dinner at California Pizza Kitchen!!! Cutest bunch of kids EVER!!!

I am so glad Jill decided to brave this night with me!! She made it all the more FUN!!!

Should I be worried???

So...the last few nights I have been on the couch...enjoying the silence..when it hits me!!! I have 3 little AWAKE children...I should not be enjoying ANY silence right now. So...I go to find my little devil reincarnated...only to find this........!!!! That's right people...my SON likes LIPSTICK!!! So...one time I can handle...but 2 or 3 consecutive nights...something is REALLY WRONG!!!

He does have some major skill in the application department!!

Oh yeah...when you ask him to say cheese...he does this GIRLY head tilt...I am sooooo not making this stuff up!!

Lipstick or not...that is one HANDSOME LITTLE MAN!!!

Oh...by the way...did I mention his love of SHOES!!! Not just any shoes of course...but Mallorys HIGH HEELS!!!

Check him out... he is 100% MAN!!! (Notice the change of clothes below...this is also not a ONE time thing!!)

It takes GUTS to pull off this look!!

He doesn't get how WRONG this really is.....

Check out the heel /toe tap!!!

Tate will actually come up to me and say..."I wan off" talking about his BOY shoes. So I sweetly do as he asks...he runs into Anna and Mallorys room and chooses a pair of more fitting shoes!!! I am soooooo in LOVE with this little man...and ALL of his corky "issues"!!! THERAPY...HERE WE COME!!!

U*T*A*H...Talk about a Winter Wonderland!!

Imagine... if you will...It is 5:00a.m. you go in and WILLING wake up your 3 children...load them into the car...and embark on a 14 HOUR (Oh yay...that's right 14 HOURS!!) drive. Where might we be heading you ask...why...to WELLSVILLE UTAH...population 8!!! Now...lets give credit where credit is due...Wellsville is a fine town...it is a town that boasts (drum-roll please) a BURGER KING!!! What more do any of us need...then the HOME OF THE WHOPPER!!! All joking aside...we had a FABULOUS time in Wellsville and it truly is a charming town...and town filled with people we love...and that TOTALLY trumps the Burger King!!! We were able to go and see our nephew Barrett get baptized and then spend 5 WONDERFUL days visiting...shopping...watching movies...and building memories!!! Thanks Mike and Steph for a wonderful time!!! This is my Beautiful niece Audra...with my Stunning little Mally!!!

Mallory...Audra...Anna...and Justin!!!!

I don't think they come any HANDSOMER than these 2!!! Justin became Tates most FAVORITE person on this trip!!!

Tate might be miserable...but I do anything for a picture!! (I know...I am a STELLAR mom!!)

I love my little man!!!

How sweet is this!?!? Mallory LOVES aunt Stephanie!!!

OH MY HELL!!! I just melt everytime I see this picture!!! I love that they are BEST FRIENDS!!!

They are catching snowflakes...NOT being terds to mommy!!!(believe it or not)

We went and saw Madagascar 2!!! WE had a blast in theatre....we had it all to ourselves!!

Nana came with us!!! It was a great time!!!

The gang in the EMPTY theatre!!!

The mandatory movie poster pose!!!

My sweet little animals!!!

We are loving the cold!!!

UHHHHH!!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this picture!!! We had such a GREAT time with aunt Steph!!

Ready for a fun day of shopping!!!

SWEETEST SISTERS!!!

Daddy stayed home one day to watch the kids and let us ladies go shopping!!!

Me...Nana...Nancy...Shauna....Stephanie

The whole gang visiting with santa!!!

Barrett...Anna....Mallory and Michael

Watching movies at home and LOVING being together!!!

Pizza and movie night!! Steph's husband Mike makes the BEST pizza and cinnamon rolls and pictures frames and benches and pillows and....you get the picture!!!

The years of therapy are TOTALLY worth this picture!!! (once again...STELLAR mom...I know)

Mallory only took this picture for the candy cane!!! That smile is actually paralyzing fear!!!

Anna was soooooo BRAVE!!!

We went to a cool light display and got to see some wonderful displays!!!

WE LOVE UTAH!!!

We had a FABULOUS time in our visit to Wellsville...population 8!! For those wondering...(you know you are) we hit Burger King a grand total of 0 times!!! Amazing huh... Thanks Steph and Mike....We love you both TONS and your sweet boys!!! Can't wait until next time!!!!